Several years ago when Emma and Max were small, I heard that on average, fathers spend 5 minutes per day with their kids. This seemed impossible.
Yet this morning, after being away all last week, while Patty & the kids were having breakfast, I was answering email.
Why?
Partly just habit now… maybe it grew from a pattern of mine: When I feel overwhelmed, I retreat and make myself busy. When there’s “too much going on” (ie, normal family chaos), I retreat to the office and get on the computer…and maybe now I’m just used to hanging out at my desk?
But I have this sense of the window closing – the time when the kids WANT to be with me is growing shorter – and I’m feeling a bit sad and anxious about this. Those important, valuable, unpleasant feelings are leading me to wonder about the choices I’m making.