5 minutes of fatherhood

Several years ago when Emma and Max were small, I heard that on average, fathers spend 5 minutes per day with their kids.  This seemed impossible.

Yet this morning, after being away all last week, while Patty & the kids were having breakfast, I was answering email.

Why?

Partly just habit now… maybe it grew from a pattern of mine: When I feel overwhelmed, I retreat and make myself busy.  When there’s “too much going on” (ie, normal family chaos), I retreat to the office and get on the computer…and maybe now I’m just used to hanging out at my desk?

But I have this sense of the window closing – the time when the kids WANT to be with me is growing shorter – and I’m feeling a bit sad and anxious about this.  Those important, valuable, unpleasant feelings are leading me to wonder about the choices I’m making.

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