Out to dinner on Valentine’s Day, young couple on first (?) date sitting at the next table:
Boy: “This place is pretty good!”
Girl: “Yes, I like the food.”
Boy: “Oh good, I was worried. I thought it was like a downscale Olive Garden, I mean I thought maybe I was taking you to some hole in the ground for Valentine’s Day….”
Help! Get this boy an EQ coach!!!
To be more emotionally intelligent, ask yourself this important question: What do you want this person to feel? Perhaps you want her to feel special, important, attractive, interesting… or you can go with the “hole in the ground” comment (showing that your mom chose the restaurant) leaving her feeling doubtful and drab.
Then, when you know what you what feelings you want to inspire, you can consider what of your own authentic feelings you can tap to engage those. Then use that as a guide to manage your own choices!!