I’ve always loved+dreaded this time of year. Dreaded because it meant the end of lazy afternoons stretching from freedom to boredom.
But more, loved, because as a child (then as a teacher), September meant a clean slate – infinite possibility – even redemption.
Maybe this would be the year I stopped having yogurts break open in my backpack and get all over my books.
Maybe this would be the year I stayed on top of my homework and didn’t feel contantly behind.
Maybe this would be the year the cool kids would include me playing four-square at lunch.
These examples sound a little sad to me, but I wasn’t sad, I was abundantly (overly?) hopeful. I’d say “optimistic” but I didn’t have a plan, I didn’t take the ownership of the solution.
I could hardly wait to start school and to see if the long summer afternoons had transformed something in me, in us. I had this sense of discovery, of boldly going someplace new — and possibly wonderful.
On the one hand, it was nonsense, and each year led to inevitable dissapointments and dashed hopes. But at the very same time I was right, year after year. Somehow I learned to leave my yogurt in my locker instead of my lunchbox. Somehow I because a straight-a student. Somehow I met wonderful people who love me for who I am.
In the magic of passing summer days, I learned something about work, something about participating in the world, something about integrity. In my child-mind it would all happen by itself with the dawning of a new year. Now, as an adult I see that change mostly came from doggedly sticking with it.
In any case, these days of raw potential — of renewal, of hope, of infinite possibility — have stayed with me, and still fill me with a trieste for the end of summer mixed with a wonder at what we can become.
Josh – this was excellent in emotion and value. I think it can remind us all to keep perspective in mind with all of our kids marching forward – that yes – we indeed need to plan, and “skill” ourselves to achieve what is desired/needed – but there’s also that outcome that “we do get through it all” – we can, and most do, end up okay – even with all the trials that we may see as emotionally life-threatening at the time. Helping our kids suffer through the fleeting pains and fears, in a way that can also provide them some context and optimism for ultimate survival,is indeed a powerful mix of empathy and hope.
Hey MJ, good to hear from you! Thank you for the thoughtful comment.
Your comment reminds me of a paradox: so often in workshops people tell me:
a) being parents is the best thing in their lives, and
b) their parents really made a mess of things.
This is evidence of the power of biology? Well, maybe – but also a reminder that life just is messy. We make a LOT of mistakes as parents and as people. And then most of us are able to learn from those, or cope, or recover, or even flourish.
As you say – “we can, and most do, end up okay – even with all the trials.” People are amazingly resilient! Thank goodness. AND we know that with a little help and some emotional intelligence skills people can be even more resilient – or bounce not just back, but ahead.
Dear Josh,
Thank you so much. Now I know how to approach my first assmbly for the pupils of my school for this new academic year. This is exactly what they need to hear; that adults too are sad to return after the summer holidays but more importantly they need to hear that it is natural, human and an opportunity to start anew.
Gratefull yours,
Darnelle