Category: society

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Emotional Intelligence and Age

I just finished posting new research on emotional intelligence and age.

This study started in a workshop where we were talking about Noble Goals. In our model, the “capstone” competence of emotional intelligence is Pursue Noble Goals — there are two reasons:
1. When we engage in the pursuit of purpose we are less defensive and reactive — less about our own ego and more about the larger vision. This allows us, even compels us, to manage our emotions more effectively.
2. Really, what’s the point? We can teach people to be more intelligent at problem-solving and they invent ways to hack the net. We can teach people to be more intelligent at engineering and they develop better ways of killing. We can teach people to be more intelligent about emotions and they become master manipulators. Voila, job done, let’s call it a day. Oh – wait – missed something…. So “intelligence” isn’t enough. We need to apply that intelligence — this is wisdom. So Pursuing a Noble Goal is a way to focus our emotional aptitude and move toward wisdom.

Anyway – point of the story: One of the managers I was training said, “Aren’t older people naturally better at this competence? It seems like young people, at least in my company, don’t really have a vision.” Hrmuph.

So I asked our research team to find out.

The answer is yes – older people are slightly more likely to be emotionally intelligent – at least in four of our eight competencies. I’m excited about this result – it shows that EQ is learned and it does develop with life experience and that age isn’t enough: You have to work to learn these skills.

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How Emotional Is Too Emotional?

This is an excellent article:

How Emotional Is Too Emotional?
Nan Mooney, Inc

Mooney says women frequently ask what to do about “being too emotional” at work — I get this question a lot too, and have worried that, as a man, my response might miss the point… so I was glad to read this!
“Professional women are frequently tagged “emotional,” as if it’s a flaw they should learn to overcome. But emotion in the workplace isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”

Excerpts:
In my varied career history, I haven’t found that women are more emotional than men on the job. We may be more comfortable expressing those emotions, since we live in a society that encourages women to be the feelers and men the thinkers and doers. But being quicker to key into the emotional aspects of a situation largely works to our benefit. It means we may pick up on a client’s or colleague’s unhappiness, make subtle adjustments in a plan or project to please everyone involved, and — best of all — form more trusting and respectful professional relationships.

The place where I think Mooney misses the mark is recommendations of what to DO about emotions. The central premise of emotional intelligence is that emotions are a resource to help us understand and manage the world — inside and outside. Emotions are information and energy — data and commitment. Emotional intelligence helps us access the data and tap the energy. When we DON’T do that, emotions well up and spiral out of control. Women and men are socialized to cope with “out of control” emotions differently (as Mooney suggests, bursting into tears vs pounding the steering wheel and cursing) — but it’s the same reaction.

The real secret is to access the information of the emotions – tune in, gain insight – and then use that data to make a better decision. When we do so, the energy of the emotions automatically transforms into a motive force toward resolution – that’s the power of emotional intelligence!

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EQ and Gross National Happiness

I love how emotional intelligence is becoming a truly international concept. Just saw this article from Bhutan saying that corporate success should contribute not just to GNP, but also to “Gross National Happiness” (GNH). Some good strategies presented for engaging a team – and a country. Here’s the premise:

There is a body of management practice, evolved mainly in US and Europe, on how to develop an organizational culture driven by vision and values shared explicitly by everyone. It is a management science about aligning organizations’ operational and personnel systems, including financial and other incentives facing all employees, strictly to their collective vision and values. It is also an art, to be practiced by leaders in inspiring and motivating their people. Likewise, one should not forget, by everyone else to inspire and motivate their leaders. And, by all to nurture an open and trusting work environment where passion and “emotional intelligence” matter just as much as professional and technical excellence.

Cool! And right on — if leaders truly used their emotional intelligence to create a trusting and trustworthy environment, can you imagine how organizations would thrive? GNH would go up!!

She goes onto point out that relationship-centered leadership creates adaptable organizations: “Wherever successful, the practice has created nimble and dynamic organizations that not only deliver first-rate outcomes, but also learn constantly from their successes and mistakes, adapting proactively to changing environment.” Sorely needed.