Comments for Joshua Freedman http://jmfreedman.com Emotional Intelligence for Performance Wed, 04 Feb 2009 03:57:46 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 Comment on Emotional Intelligence in the Middle East by Jacques http://jmfreedman.com/2009/01/emotional-intelligence-in-the-middle-east/comment-page-1/#comment-89 Jacques Wed, 04 Feb 2009 03:57:46 +0000 http://jmfreedman.com/2009/01/emotional-intelligence-in-the-middle-east/#comment-89 Congrats! Congrats!

]]> Comment on Success & the Business Case for Emotional Intelligence by Reri MacLean http://jmfreedman.com/2008/10/business_case_emotional_intelligence/comment-page-1/#comment-72 Reri MacLean Mon, 27 Oct 2008 00:36:13 +0000 http://www.6seconds.org/blog/?p=238#comment-72 1. Those who I see as having achieved success have these things in common: vision, motivation, self-awareness, awareness of the immediate and the larger context, focused discipline, perseverance, emotional control. And, the ability to laugh! 2. The 'essential ingredients' of EQ, appear to be related to many of these factors. (a) Self Awareness (including dispassionate understanding of one's strengths and limitations) and Other Awareness (including understanding where others are coming from and the requirements of the context) are mentioned directly answer to question #1. (b) Vision is influenced by a clear understanding of the immediate and long-term context (Other Awareness) (c)Discipline, perseverance and the ability to manage one's emotions are related to Self-Management (d) A sense of humor is a bit trickier. A case can be made that, when we take better care of ourselves, (Self-Management) we are all more apt to have a better sense of humor. But it also seems that this quality is 'variably distributed' across the species. Thanks for asking the intriguing question! 1. Those who I see as having achieved success have these things in common: vision, motivation, self-awareness, awareness of the immediate and the larger context, focused discipline, perseverance, emotional control. And, the ability to laugh!

2. The ‘essential ingredients’ of EQ, appear to be related to many of these factors.
(a) Self Awareness (including dispassionate understanding of one’s strengths and limitations) and Other Awareness (including understanding where others are coming from and the requirements of the context) are mentioned directly answer to question #1.
(b) Vision is influenced by a clear understanding of the immediate and long-term context (Other Awareness)
(c)Discipline, perseverance and the ability to manage one’s emotions are related to Self-Management
(d) A sense of humor is a bit trickier. A case can be made that, when we take better care of ourselves, (Self-Management) we are all more apt to have a better sense of humor. But it also seems that this quality is ‘variably distributed’ across the species.
Thanks for asking the intriguing question!

]]> Comment on Success & the Business Case for Emotional Intelligence by Janette http://jmfreedman.com/2008/10/business_case_emotional_intelligence/comment-page-1/#comment-71 Janette Sun, 26 Oct 2008 07:42:45 +0000 http://www.6seconds.org/blog/?p=238#comment-71 To me being successful is very subjective. I consider myself successful when one person, a group or a community regardless of race, tribe or kind lived better because of what I have said or do for them. Everything we do is not just for or about ourselves but it will have a link or effect (good or bad) on others. People that I consider successful are those who are selfless and pretty much a connector of people and opportunities. To me being successful is very subjective. I consider myself successful when one person, a group or a community regardless of race, tribe or kind lived better because of what I have said or do for them.
Everything we do is not just for or about ourselves but it will have a link or effect (good or bad) on others. People that I consider successful are those who are selfless and pretty much a connector of people and opportunities.

]]> Comment on Success & the Business Case for Emotional Intelligence by Jorge Henòn Mattos http://jmfreedman.com/2008/10/business_case_emotional_intelligence/comment-page-1/#comment-70 Jorge Henòn Mattos Wed, 22 Oct 2008 10:38:13 +0000 http://www.6seconds.org/blog/?p=238#comment-70 Concentration, hard worker, dedication to family, intelligent, electronic engenier. Concentration, hard worker, dedication to family, intelligent, electronic engenier.

]]> Comment on EQ Reflection: Monuments by suheyla http://jmfreedman.com/2008/10/eq-reflection-monuments/comment-page-1/#comment-65 suheyla Wed, 01 Oct 2008 19:47:49 +0000 http://www.6seconds.org/blog/?p=206#comment-65 dear josh, it is my firm conviction that this century's greatest movement is the eq movement (or whatever other name it may be given as long as it focuses on the positive, on emotion, on the power and strength of our species, outsourced by the love in our hearts). i value your contribution to this movement with all my heart. i teach at a private university in turkey and every semester encourage my students to subscribe to your website. i make a point of teaching eq to my students either within an interpersonal communication class, introducing the eq principles in all my social courses, ceasing every opportunity to introduce the basics of the eq concept. i have students who write to me years after their graduation thanking me for what i have taught them about human relations. thank you for all your efforts towards such a noble and humane goal...THANK YOU. dear josh,
it is my firm conviction that this century’s greatest movement is the eq movement (or whatever other name it may be given as long as it focuses on the positive, on emotion, on the power and strength of our species, outsourced by the love in our hearts). i value your contribution to this movement with all my heart. i teach at a private university in turkey and every semester encourage my students to subscribe to your website. i make a point of teaching eq to my students either within an interpersonal communication class, introducing the eq principles in all my social courses, ceasing every opportunity to introduce the basics of the eq concept.
i have students who write to me years after their graduation thanking me for what i have taught them about human relations. thank you for all your efforts towards such a noble and humane goal…THANK YOU.

]]> Comment on Hope and Loss: Back to School by Darnelle Constant http://jmfreedman.com/2008/09/hope-and-loss-back-to-school/comment-page-1/#comment-62 Darnelle Constant Wed, 03 Sep 2008 10:41:53 +0000 http://6seconds.org/blog/2008/09/01/hope-and-loss-back-to-school.html#comment-62 Dear Josh, Thank you so much. Now I know how to approach my first assmbly for the pupils of my school for this new academic year. This is exactly what they need to hear; that adults too are sad to return after the summer holidays but more importantly they need to hear that it is natural, human and an opportunity to start anew. Gratefull yours, Darnelle Dear Josh,
Thank you so much. Now I know how to approach my first assmbly for the pupils of my school for this new academic year. This is exactly what they need to hear; that adults too are sad to return after the summer holidays but more importantly they need to hear that it is natural, human and an opportunity to start anew.
Gratefull yours,
Darnelle

]]> Comment on Hope and Loss: Back to School by Joshua Freedman http://jmfreedman.com/2008/09/hope-and-loss-back-to-school/comment-page-1/#comment-63 Joshua Freedman Tue, 02 Sep 2008 01:36:10 +0000 http://6seconds.org/blog/2008/09/01/hope-and-loss-back-to-school.html#comment-63 Hey MJ, good to hear from you! Thank you for the thoughtful comment. Your comment reminds me of a paradox: so often in workshops people tell me: a) being parents is the best thing in their lives, and b) their parents really made a mess of things. This is evidence of the power of biology? Well, maybe - but also a reminder that life just is messy. We make a LOT of mistakes as parents and as people. And then most of us are able to learn from those, or cope, or recover, or even flourish. As you say - "we can, and most do, end up okay - even with all the trials." People are amazingly resilient! Thank goodness. AND we know that with a little help and some emotional intelligence skills people can be even more resilient - or bounce not just back, but ahead. Hey MJ, good to hear from you! Thank you for the thoughtful comment.

Your comment reminds me of a paradox: so often in workshops people tell me:
a) being parents is the best thing in their lives, and
b) their parents really made a mess of things.
This is evidence of the power of biology? Well, maybe – but also a reminder that life just is messy. We make a LOT of mistakes as parents and as people. And then most of us are able to learn from those, or cope, or recover, or even flourish.

As you say – “we can, and most do, end up okay – even with all the trials.” People are amazingly resilient! Thank goodness. AND we know that with a little help and some emotional intelligence skills people can be even more resilient – or bounce not just back, but ahead.

]]> Comment on Hope and Loss: Back to School by MJ http://jmfreedman.com/2008/09/hope-and-loss-back-to-school/comment-page-1/#comment-64 MJ Tue, 02 Sep 2008 00:47:34 +0000 http://6seconds.org/blog/2008/09/01/hope-and-loss-back-to-school.html#comment-64 Josh - this was excellent in emotion and value. I think it can remind us all to keep perspective in mind with all of our kids marching forward - that yes - we indeed need to plan, and "skill" ourselves to achieve what is desired/needed - but there's also that outcome that "we do get through it all" - we can, and most do, end up okay - even with all the trials that we may see as emotionally life-threatening at the time. Helping our kids suffer through the fleeting pains and fears, in a way that can also provide them some context and optimism for ultimate survival,is indeed a powerful mix of empathy and hope. Josh – this was excellent in emotion and value. I think it can remind us all to keep perspective in mind with all of our kids marching forward – that yes – we indeed need to plan, and “skill” ourselves to achieve what is desired/needed – but there’s also that outcome that “we do get through it all” – we can, and most do, end up okay – even with all the trials that we may see as emotionally life-threatening at the time. Helping our kids suffer through the fleeting pains and fears, in a way that can also provide them some context and optimism for ultimate survival,is indeed a powerful mix of empathy and hope.

]]> Comment on Behavior or Deeper? by Laura LB http://jmfreedman.com/2008/08/behavior-or-deeper/comment-page-1/#comment-60 Laura LB Fri, 08 Aug 2008 15:21:18 +0000 http://6seconds.org/blog/2008/08/03/behavior-or-deeper.html#comment-60 Yes, Josh, I think you've stated this very well. A related issue seems to be the very real fear of “what will happen if I open up this emotional can of worms?” I sense a near-universal fear that “if I open up the Pandora’s box of emotions, I’ll be overwhelmed forever.” I think there is some legitimacy to this fear, i.e., in my experience, opening up to emotions can sometimes release an initial torrent. And if we aren’t therapists, do we want to release those emotions? As a participant/trainee do I want those emotions released in a training venue? It isn’t an easy question. How can we help clients “go deeper” but “not that deep?” I know we can “refer out” but perhaps the best answer I’ve gotten is from the book “Raising your Emotional IQ.” Written by a therapist, the book reassures readers that even strong emotions are temporary and releasing them will lead to health, not greater illness. Yes, Josh, I think you’ve stated this very well. A related issue seems to be the very real fear of “what will happen if I open up this emotional can of worms?” I sense a near-universal fear that “if I open up the Pandora’s box of emotions, I’ll be overwhelmed forever.” I think there is some legitimacy to this fear, i.e., in my experience, opening up to emotions can sometimes release an initial torrent. And if we aren’t therapists, do we want to release those emotions? As a participant/trainee do I want those emotions released in a training venue? It isn’t an easy question. How can we help clients “go deeper” but “not that deep?” I know we can “refer out” but perhaps the best answer I’ve gotten is from the book “Raising your Emotional IQ.” Written by a therapist, the book reassures readers that even strong emotions are temporary and releasing them will lead to health, not greater illness.

]]> Comment on Behavior or Deeper? by Shabbir Latif http://jmfreedman.com/2008/08/behavior-or-deeper/comment-page-1/#comment-61 Shabbir Latif Mon, 04 Aug 2008 00:26:30 +0000 http://6seconds.org/blog/2008/08/03/behavior-or-deeper.html#comment-61 I agree Josh, there is something deeper that needs to be changed before a lasting change can occur in the behavior. I am facilitating "Breaking Barriers" (by Gordon Graham) program at SVPP; in which Heirum Smith (Franklin Covey) refers to "The Reality Model" to explain the human behavior process. According to RM, there are deep sited beliefs that drives our behaviors. We have developed these beliefs over time to fulfill our basic needs. Unfortunately, often these beliefs provides only short term gratification. For example, somebody who is always aggressive or violent has developed a belief, "I need to be violent to get what I want;" or "I can get whatever I want if I am aggressive." The only way for the person to change the behavior is to realize that this belief doesn't fulfill his/her needs over time and needs to see some "pay-offs" in order to have motivation to change the belief. L1 training refers to similar process and I am sure there are other similar models but just some food for thoughts.:-) I agree Josh, there is something deeper that needs to be changed before a lasting change can occur in the behavior. I am facilitating “Breaking Barriers” (by Gordon Graham) program at SVPP; in which Heirum Smith (Franklin Covey) refers to “The Reality Model” to explain the human behavior process. According to RM, there are deep sited beliefs that drives our behaviors. We have developed these beliefs over time to fulfill our basic needs. Unfortunately, often these beliefs provides only short term gratification. For example, somebody who is always aggressive or violent has developed a belief, “I need to be violent to get what I want;” or “I can get whatever I want if I am aggressive.” The only way for the person to change the behavior is to realize that this belief doesn’t fulfill his/her needs over time and needs to see some “pay-offs” in order to have motivation to change the belief. L1 training refers to similar process and I am sure there are other similar models but just some food for thoughts.:-)

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